Small Things Are Big Things

February 21, 2014 by: Kara Noel Lawson

How to Tell Your Kids About a Death in the Family {the death day a year later}

(I wrote this on 2/7 but was too busy crying to finish it and post!)
This morning last year I was holding my mom’s hand and watching the life slip out of her.
If it wasn’t so heartbreaking you would almost think it was uneventful.
Something we’ve seen a thousand times on TV and in the movies – sullen family members surrounding a hospital bed in a dim sterile white room with monitors beeping and flashing at random intervals.
If I close my eyes I can feel her hand and the smooth texture of her skin, as my thumb rubbed back and forth on her wrist.
Waiting.
I was thinking that this was the last time I would be in the room with my mom.
That the sound of her laugh would be a memory.
I was wondering how I could cook a meal without calling her with ten questions during the process.
There were are so many things I wanted to ask her.
And I was still hoping for a miracle.
Brad and I had been at the hospital in LA for 36 hours straight and our amazing friends were juggling our kids’ school schedules and naps and baths and everything. Actually, I wouldn’t even know if our friends were with my kids during that time. I mean, I was so checked out, they could have tossed cheerios on the floor and locked them in the house.
My mom left this earth, and we left the hospital.
The long ride home we were talking about how we were going to tell the children.
My mom was a big part of their lives. I still remember her last visit to my house just a few days before she fell and how they ran to the door to meet her.
How would we explain they could never run to meet her on earth again?
Would they… could they, even comprehend?
How long will it take them to forget her?
Brad and I decided we wanted to tell them outside the house so there wouldn’t be any distractions. We would go on a local hiking trail and have a picnic. We stopped off at Jack in the Box for breakfast food (pancakes – they are a buck for 8 and my kids love them), then went home and headed to the picnic.
While we were eating we told them Nannie died.
We explained that her body couldn’t keep her alive anymore, and about her liver failing. We talked about our faith in Jesus. And that we believe we’ll see her again in heaven because we believe in Jesus. We got to talk to them about their faith and that they can choose to believe what we believe.
And that we hope they will.

Eli: “So Nannie believed in Jesus?” Yep. “And she’s in heaven now?” Yep. “So since I believe in Jesus, I’ll see her when I go to heaven?” Yep. “OK!” Then he happily went over to some rocks and started throwing them into a hole.
Just like a man.

Cora Jane was sitting quietly the whole time. We asked if she was OK, and she asked if Nannie could visit from heaven to bake brownies with her. We told her no. Then her lip started to quiver and she broke down. Sobbing.
Just like a woman.

The younger kids were too little to understand so they were just playing and eating.

The hospital has a hospice program and they make beautiful blankets to put over the patients’ legs while they are dying. We had taken my mom’s blanket home and we told the children that whenever they missed Nannie, they could hug the blanket and it would be like hugging her. Cora Jane just held the blanket and cried.
It was so sad.

Then we went for a hike. It was a lovely morning and I know I needed to be outdoors after being cooped up in the hospital for so long. Even as the kids started to complain about walking so far, I felt good being outside.

The next morning we found Cora Jane snuggling the blanket because she wanted to give hugs to Nannie.

How to Tell Your Kids About a Death in the Family

Be honest. We are all unicorns and rainbows around here but there are some things in life you just can’t sugarcoat. I took this lesson from Sesame Street and didn’t use vague words like “passed away” or ”no longer with us.” Nannie died.
Be simple. Don’t over-explain, your kids will tune out or go down a rabbit trail that has nothing to do with the matter at hand. Nannie died. (period)
Ask questions. This is a bit of an extension of the tip above. Instead of talking; listen. Asking questions will help you discover what you actually need to explain. Here are some examples to get you started: Do you understand? (duh) How are you feeling? What are you thinking about? What do you think death is?
Let them see you cry. It’s OK for kids to see you sad. Young kids might not know how to express deep sadness yet. You are modeling (normal/healthy) grief for them. About a week after my mom died, Eli was trying to silence Cora Jane because she was talking about my mom. He said, “Don’t talk about Nannie, it will make mommy sad!” After that, we talked a lot about why I was sad. About how thankful I am for all the wonderful memories. And that being sad isn’t a bad thing, it means that Nannie was important and happy part of our lives.
If you have a faith, share it. While so much of our faith is centered on serving others here on earth, a huge part is heaven. Now is the perfect time to explain your faith.
A physical reminder. I really can’t believe how comforting the blanket from the hospital is for our kids. They love it! We also planted a tree in our front yard and we call it “Nannie’s Tree.” It will bloom every year around my mom’s death day. Having a physical reminder about your family member will help with healthy grieving and is a great way to initiate conversations with kids.
Funeral? I’m sure there are strong feelings about both going and not going to the funeral and/or wake. But I highly recommend going. Death is a guarantee in all our lives, and teaching about it falls under the “parent” job description. I remember going to my great grandparents’ funerals and seeing their bodies and it wasn’t scary or weird. It just was. I think being exposed to that at a young age shaped a healthy perspective on death and my sharpened my faith early.
Understand they might fine. Kids are resilient and they probably won’t be crying the next 5+ months… like you will. And that’s OK. Was it satisfying when Cora Jane broke down sobbing? Yes! I felt like she understood the gravity of the her Nannie’s death. When Eli went back to throwing rocks, was I a little hurt? Yes! Be sensitive to your little humans, as they might process things differently than you!

I hope this helps you out my friends. And I also hope you don’t have to reference this post very often!

February 16, 2014 by: Kara Noel Lawson

Sundays – The Sound of Heaven Touching Earth

We are always blessed by going to church.
Sometimes by the message.
Ha. (See what I did there? Church is so much more to us than a pastor’s message.)
For me last week, I was blessed most by a song.
(I didn’t write about last week during nap time because we went to Costco… which you know jacks up the whole day.)

One lyric in the song says, “The sound of heaven touching earth.”

This line kept playing over and over in my head.
I started to think about the sound of heaven touching earth.
What is the sound of heaven touching earth?
Then I started to look around the room.
Like most church-goers, we sit in the same place every week. I love getting to know the people near us more every week and I love looking around at the same faces in their same areas.

I looked at my friends.
Close friends, as well as friends I don’t know very well… yet.
(Because I think everyone is my friend. Even you, my bloggy friends who I have never talked to. I’m insane. But happily insane.)
I looked at their faces and I started to think of their stories.
The laughter I have shared with many most of them.
The amazing things they are doing with their lives.
The tragedies some have faced.
Joy.
Healing.
Redemption.
Then I heard it.
The sound of heaven touching earth.

Here’s the song, hope you are as blessed as I was by listening.

February 15, 2014 by: Kara Noel Lawson

Kleenex Necklace

My mom and I had a running joke before she died about making a Kleenex necklace.
After every sneeze she would go get a Kleenex, only to return to a kiddo who had wiped their boogers on their arm… or shirt… or the couch… or a sibling… you know, just being real.
She would say the folks at Kleenex should make a necklace for moms to wear so they would always have a tissue on hand for runny noses.
While the Kleenex necklace has never caught on, they have upped their chic factor with the Kleenex Style Studio.
Cute stuff.
Kleenex sponsored me to do a bit of styling for their new designs, so in honor of my mom I’m going to show how I use the new Go Packs ($2.99 for 8) around the house and out and about, so you will always have a tissue when you need it!

I keep one in the kitchen junk drawer. Can I just say that my junk drawer cracks me up.
I did not stage this!
Like 5 pairs of scissors (including a broken pair), glow bracelets, water balloons, pens, an ink pad, my ‘thank you’ stamp that I like to stamp on random things, broken stuff that need to be hot glued (I keep the hot glue gun in the back of the drawer), crochet hooks and a lint roller. We haven’t used that lint roller in at least 6 years. I even tried to throw it away after this picture but I couldn’t because if we ever do need it, I want it ready.
I’m insane.
Oh, and you can just see my Christmas flannel Pajamas that I wear year round.

I pop one in each of the kiddos’ backpacks. I’m not even sure they know they are there.
I should probably tell them.

I keep a Kleenex Go Pack in my purse too. I choose a bright color so I can find it fast.
Again, not staged. I took this after a trip through the McDonalds drive through for a Frape (those things are crack). Toys, receipts, cash, rainbow loom stuff and my red lipstick… which I wear everyday because it makes it look like I tried.
True story.

And I keep them with my Park Workout gear now because it never fails that snot is dripping into their mouths in the middle of a hard exercise.

This Valentines Day, I even included a stylish Go Pack with our teacher’s valentines!
Sticky note pads with “It’s well NOTED, you are a fantastic teacher!” written on them.
Simple.

The Kleenex Style Studio is sure to make your current tissue box eyesore fit into any home décor. Though, I guess I could single handedly try to get the Kleenex necklace fad to take off!
Me in my PJs with no make-up… you know, just being real.
You never know…

February 7, 2014 by: Kara Noel Lawson

Tea and Glue Sticks

I’m just sitting here hot gluing a project, sipping tea and bawling my eyes out.
After my mom died our friends rallied, and I had meals and visits almost everyday for 2 months. It was the perfect picture of community.
It was tragically beautiful.
Every Christmas my mom would stuff my stocking with my favorite earl grey tea and hot glue sticks (among other things… like dollar store pregnancy tests). My supply would last me until my stocking was stuffed again the following year.
It was one of the many Small Things my mom did, that I miss terribly.
After hearing this, two of my friends (who don’t know each other) gifted me with tea and glue sticks.
What a Small Thing.
A Small Thing that has me weeping like a baby almost a year later.

Sometimes when you do a Small Thing for someone, it’s easy – you’re out shopping, and happen to see something special for a friend, you pick it up, and drop it by their house on the way home from the store. Done.
Sometimes it’s more difficult – you get an idea, and on the way to the store you get lost, while shopping your toddler screams during the whole trip, then he/she falls asleep on the way home which totally ruins the rest of the day. Then you keep forgetting to give the Small Thing to your friend. This ‘thoughtful gift’ ends up becoming a burden. Eventually you get it to her house, and whew… done!

Often I think of things I want to do for other people.
Often schedules and convenience get in the way.

I’m not sure if it was easy or difficult for my friends to get me the tea and glue sticks. But even if getting to the store ruined a routine or ended up being a huge burden, their gifts meant/mean the world to me.

What are some Small Things you can do?
Whatever you are thinking about doing for someone today, might become a sacred memory and have them weeping like a baby next year.

February 4, 2014 by: Kara Noel Lawson

Sundays – Psalms 100 {free printable}

These short 5 verses that make up Psalms 100, embody joy and thanksgiving to me. Which is probably why it’s been read for a thousand years for Jewish worship services (“Shacharit”).

(Print the rad graphic above for free here)

Psalms 100

I was reminded this week that God came for everyone.
He has been faithful through all generations.
He certainly has been faithful to me.
This Friday will be a year since my mom passed away. I can’t believe I have a whole year of memories without her in them.
How is that even possible, when she feels so present to me everyday?
And so far away.

Worship is loud, being filled with gladness, joyful, singing, knowing the lord is God.
Worship is remembering where we are from, that we were created, and we are His.
Worship is being thankful, walking toward God, and respecting His name.
Worship is holding on to His goodness and love, which lasts forever.
Worship is believing that God will be faithful to my children, my great-grandchildren and my great-great-grandchildren…

January 30, 2014 by: Kara Noel Lawson

Creative Tea Time {with a favor giveaway}

Saturday I got to hang out with a bunch of my friends and get my craft on at Creative Tea Time. The last one was in August and I never got to tell you about it, so I’ll share today. {Along with a giveaway of some of the amazing favors I received!}

First, I wore a cute new outfit.
Doesn’t a cute outfit make you feel better about yourself?
The night before the first Creative Tea Time, I felt like all my clothes were out of style. I mean, this is the longest I HAVEN’T been pregnant in over 7 years. So most of my clothes are ill fitting (too big and too small) and old… aka flare legged jeans. So after the kids went to bed I went to Target. And spent a bit (ahem) of money.
Doesn’t spending money make you feel better about yourself?
That may be a whole other post!

The décor was delightful. And we spent the whole day crafting and eating.
Good times.

Here is what I made, and how to make them yourself… {5 crafts}

Mini Atrium
You’ll need: Small glass container, small succulent, dirt, rocks, moss, various flare to decorate.
How-to: Fill only about half way with dirt and add everything together for your own mini atrium!

Stamped Spoon
You’ll need: Vintage spoon, old dish towel, hammer, metal stamping kit of the alphabet, black permanent marker
How-to: Place the towel on the ground and the spoon in between the folds of the towel. Hammer the top of the spoon flat {towel makes less noise and prevents scratching}. Follow metal stamping instructions for the word or phrase. Color over the letters with the permanent marker and wipe away so you can see the letters.

Wooden Sign
You’ll need: Wood, paint, letter stamps. Optional: fabric, yarn, hot glue for a bunting
How-to: Sign – Stamp letters onto wood. Bunting – Cut circles out of fabric and fold over yarn. Glue together to create half circles
Mine is at my front entry and everyone flips!

Mason Jar Snowglobe
You’ll need: Mason jar, hot glue gun, ‘snow’, stuff to put inside like bottle brush trees and reindeer.
How-to: Hot glue the stuff to the inside lid of the mason jar and put snow in the jar. Screw the lid on and flip over.

Fabric Strip Banner
Easy step by step instructions here.

We were also given a whole lotta swag!
Like a lot!!!
So I’m going to give some away.
Not because I’m nice, I just don’t wear a lot of jewelry or didn’t need whatever awesome thing that was given. You may be wondering if these favors are “leftovers.”
NOPE!
Absolutely not!
Everything was amazing and that’s why I’m doing the giveaway, to help promote the generous businesses who donated to Creative Tea Time.
(Otherwise I would just throw the stuff out… True Story.)
You’ll get a box filled with 14+ items of happy mail… and maybe a lid too!
Follow the instructions in the box below to enter!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

(Here I am with some of my IRL friends at Creative Tea Time.)

Till next time!

January 28, 2014 by: Kara Noel Lawson

Sundays – For All Creation is Waiting Eagerly

I love our church.
It’s our family.
Every week I glean something from the teaching.
My thoughts bump around in my head, get stuck there, then are eventually lost.
Just like clockwork, we go to church (join us!), out to lunch (join us!), then home to put kids down for naps (you aren’t invited!) and take it easy the rest of the day. I’m going to commit that nap time to writing my down my Sunday thoughts.
Welcome to the new series called, Sundays.

Romans, yo!

Today our pastor, along with two other men, read the bulk of the book of Romans out loud (Chapters 1-11, and a few verses of 12). Just as the early church would read the letters during their meetings, we read the book as our whole service.
It was powerful.
The Bible is enough.
If you’ve never read Romans, it’s a great book… if you liked to be punched in the face and turned upside down.
I’ll try to grab a few of the thoughts bouncing around in my head! I could probably write a post about each of the things that stuck out to me today. Because the nature of this service was so different than the norm, I’ll just write what struck me most. I want to finish before the kids wake up. And I’d like the weekly series to coincide with the weekly teaching.

They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself, who is worthy of eternal praise! Amen. Romans 1:25

My heart hurts when people have been hurt by The Church (or a church). The truth about God gets distorted and it’s easy to believe lies. What pains me most isn’t when people don’t believe, or even stop believing, it’s when they trade the truth for something else.
You know the people who believed, were disillusioned, and now are obsessed with something else. Maybe another religion (including atheism), or some lie of this world. Something that makes you busy, promises satisfaction, but will never satisfy.
Things that money can buy (great food, vacations), or the things that suck your time (your kid’s sports, excessive fitness regime).
Not abandoned or walked away but trading the truth for counterfeit.

For you are not a true Jew just because you were born of Jewish parents or because you have gone through the ceremony of circumcision.No, a true Jew is one whose heart is right with God. And true circumcision is not merely obeying the letter of the law; rather, it is a change of heart produced by God’s Spirit. And a person with a changed heart seeks praise from God, not from people. Romans 2:28-29

Getting to the root of the problem. The heart.
When I look at the belief system in different families or hear about families, I’m reminded, “God doesn’t have grandchildren.” It doesn’t matter what your parents or grandparents, think or believe. It comes down to your heart.

They don’t know where to find peace. Romans 3:17

That’s just sad.

Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? Romans 6:16a

When people trade in the truth for lies they become slaves to the very thing, they think gives them freedom.

For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. Romans 8:19

I love the illustration of all creation waiting eagerly to be back with God.
I’m eagerly waiting for something more.
Are you?

January 3, 2014 by: Kara Noel Lawson

Rest Stop Route Down the West Coast

And finally here is a quick look at our rest stop route down the west coast for the day:

We saw a giant fly and gained a member of the family, Barry, at O’Brien Market in Oregon.
We had a park play date in Crescent City Park.
We were almost killed by squatter hippies in the Redwoods.
We took advantage of a photo op with giant statues of Paul Bunyan and his ox, Blue.
We got up close with wildlife in Elk Meadow.
We closed out the day with hippies in Eureka!

Not too bad for one day!

While I was working on these posts yesterday, I looked outside and saw Tessa hugging Barry in the backyard. Yep, that bear was worth every penny! She still loves him.

Total for Day 12 – Traveled 415 miles
With a total of six Rest Stop Adventures!

View our whole trip here:

January 3, 2014 by: Kara Noel Lawson

Hippies in Eureka –Rest Stop Adventures

Driving down the California coast is lovely.
Have I mentioned how beautiful this county of ours is yet?
I have?
Like a hundred times?
Ok, ok, ok… but it’s true.
As we approached Eureka, in the heart of Humboldt County, we saw hippies everywhere. Not the calm-eco-friendly-peace-love-and-hope hippies, more like the I-haven’t-showered-in-a-year-and-I-will-slit-your-throat-to-get-my-next-fix, kind of hippies.
(In case you don’t know, Humboldt County is known for it’s lax rules regarding marijuana. Maybe that’s why there are hippies in Eureka.)

The sun had set and twilight was upon us. It was pretty late, about 9:30pm, because we were so much farther north. We needed a place to park our RV for the night, so our destination was a Wal-Mart parking lot… obviously. We grabbed a late dinner at a local pizza joint. And I’m pretty sure the whole staff was high.
When we arrived at the Wal-Mart parking lot we realized this store wasn’t a typical store because it was in a mall. We parked anyway, and got ready for bed. It was about 11pm, and we were exhausted from all the driving and adventures of the day. Both Brad and I felt uncomfortable because there were still dirty hippies walking around and from our squatter encounter earlier in the morning.
We finally nodded off to sleep and then around 1am there was a pounding on our RV door.
And a deep male voice yelled, “You have to leave!!!!!”
I cannot lie, it was a total relief to see a mall cop and not a hippie when we opened the door. He was very nice and directed us to another spot to park for the night. We drove to the other location, which was on a dark side street surrounded by truckers sleeping though the night and a few other RVs.
I was nervous that hippies were going to break in and steal our children and raise them.
I’m serious.
I’m insane.
But it was late, and I was tired, but I double checked all the window locks anyway!
Every sound woke me up and when I woke up I would wake to see Brad’s eyes already open and ready to defend the family against angry hippies.
True story.
Then at about 3 am there was pounding across the whole side of the RV! And a groggy scratchy voice screaming, “Wake the f—- up!!!!!!”
I cannot lie, I thought the hippies were turning on us, and was ready to throw Barry at the first one to make it through the door… or window!
Why didn’t I bring the pepper spray?!?!!?
Brad looked out the window to size up our foes and it was just a high dirty hippie walking down the street and banging on all the turcks and RVs.
We will survive another day, after all.

We woke up alive and gave Barry a big hug. I’d like to think having a fierce bear guarding the door helped a bit too.

Things to know if you go…

You can not park your RV in the Wal-Mart parking lot in Eureka. Ha.
I’m sure Eureka is a great place during the day. I mean one of my favorite shows is set there. (Warning: Show reveals my geeky-ness.) And I did see tons of beautiful old Victorian homes everywhere.
There is a good pizza joint… where every worker also smokes joints.
Watch out for hippies.

Day 12 – Traveled 45 miles
(Last part, of 6, in the Rest Stop Adventures)

View our whole trip here: