I spoke at my mom’s memorial service. A lot of people said I was brave. But I didn’t feel brave, I felt sad. Overwhelmingly sad. And I felt proud. Proud that I had my mom as my mom.
Here is what I said:
Thank you for coming. My name is Kara Noel and I’m Suzie’s only child.
She got it right the first time.`
As I look around this room, I can’t help but think of how much my mom would have loved to be here with all the people she loved most. It feels like she should be walking though the doors right now… LATE… of course!
I wanted to share some simple stories and memories about my mom. A woman FULL of joy, life and happiness.
The week before my mom fell, she was over at my house. We made beautiful pillows together for my couch. We talked about life and love, and laughed together all day. It was probably some of the sweetest time we’ve ever had together. She told me in her proudest mom voice that I had done “so much” with my life by 32. Maybe she was referring to the amount of children I had in such a short amount of time!
Her statement resonated with me, and later that night I was thinking about all the things she had done in her life:
She put up with 3 younger siblings… and if you know them, that’s quite a feat!.
She was a leader among her peers.
She was faithful to her High School sweetheart.
She traveled the world… even climbed the pyramids in Egypt.
She was my Room Mom from Kindergarten thru 6th grade.
She was a vigilante for my High School.
She took in strays… cats and people!
She was instantly loved by anyone who met her.
SHE LIVED BIG.
But that’s not what made her awesome.
She loved the Mother Teresa quote, “Do small things with great love.” Even though she lived BIG, I feel like my mom was the master of small things.
A master of the details.
She made my childhood magical with Small Things:
My tooth fairy, named Melanie, wrote me letters and would leave a trail of fairy dust from my hair to the window sill.
After school on rainy days she would invite all the neighborhood kids over for popcorn and hot chocolate.
She made every class party special for every child.
She made homemade lunch for about 30 teens at my house every Tuesday my senior year of High School.
She made my adult life magical with Small Things:
She secretly decorated the front door of our tiny apartment the first year I was a married woman with homemade wreaths… that I still use and cherish today.
Every Christmas she would fill my stocking with hot glue sticks and my favorite Earl Grey tea. Something I have never had to buy in my 8 years of marriage… till last week.
She would fill Brad’s stocking with the “good Q-tips” that we were too poor to buy as a young married couple… because she paid attention to the details and knew he didn’t like the generic ones
AND I was BLESSED to see her do Small Things with my children (I just wish I would get to see more):
Baking brownies with a whole container of sprinkles on top.
Building legos and sticking stickers for hours.
Glitter! Because we all know parents don’t to glitter because it’s so messy.
Now I get to pass along all those special small things. Wouldn’t you know it, Eli’s has the same tooth fairy and she leaves sweet letters.
BUT the biggest Small Thing my mom did was listen.
She would truly listen.
Growing up we had a neighbor, who has since passed away, named Millie. And Millie would come over a couple of times a week and shoot the breeze with my mom for at least an hour. It would throw my mom’s day totally off and she would be stuck doing her chores late or not getting things done at all. I remember telling her, in all my infinite-teenage-knowledge, to just tell Millie that she had things to do or to just work while she chatted. My mom told me that she had made a promise in her head to God, to just drop everything and give Millie her full attention every time she came over. My mom felt this way about all visitors and would drop everything and give anyone who came over, her full attention. Not wanting to miss any divine appointments.
She actually cared and had true compassion.
When she was with my children she wasn’t pushy and wouldn’t try to force a special moment. The most precious moments would just happen as she listened. She would do whatever they wanted to do, all the while listening to whatever was going through their sweet little heads.
I want her to hear the way Tess says her first new words.
I want her to chuckle over Cy’s latest mischief.
I want her to bake dozens of brownies with Cora Jane.
I want her to marvel over Eli’s latest lego creations.
I want her to tell me in all seriousness that each one of my children is a “true genius.”
When I first started I said I wished my mom was here… and I still do!
But in a way she is here because she left a great legacy.
My Aunt found one of my mom’s notebooks yesterday (what a precious gift). My mom had written this quote,
“The happiest people don’t have the best of everything.
They just make the best of everything.
Live Simply.
Speak Kindly.
Care Deeply.
Love Generously.’”
Please remember my mom when you do Small Things.
Because Small Things matter.
In fact, Small Things aren’t small at all.
Just look around at this big room of hundreds of people, here to celebrate the life of a my mom, Suzie – the master of Small Things.
###
So, that’s what I said at my mom’s memorial. (deep breath)
Before I spoke I was praying about something Jesus-y to say. Nothing came to me until about a week later. I suppose it wasn’t meant to be spoken there. But I’ll share it here, in another post soon.
I’m also doing a post about what to say (and not to say) to someone who has just suffered through a loss.
Here is a little tribute post I did for my mom 5 years ago. It’s sweet, so I thought I would include it here as well.
Latest posts by Kara Noel Lawson (see all)
- Low Carb Banana Bread – Keto Friendly - June 11, 2018
- The Fresh 20, Black History Month and Midnight Reading - January 22, 2018
- Reverse Osmosis Water System from Costco - January 22, 2018
Gwendolyn says
Thank you for sharing your story Kara. I lost my brother, cousin and Aunt last year and I deeply felt and share your sense of loss. I am lucky enough to still have mthy Mom and Dad (83 and almost 84), and will be so lost when my Mom is gone. I talk to her every day and we’ve shared so much together. Just typing this is bringing the tears!
Your story is one of courage and conviction. I am thankful that Jesus came into my life and saved me and that my Mom loves Him too. You have inspired and encouraged me and although I don’t know you, I can feel that your words are from your heart.
I will pray for healing and comfort for you and understand that there are no words to express the sorrow and joy that comes from losing a sibling or parent. Sorrow that they aren’t with us anymore and joy in knowing they are with their Savior. Thank you again for sharing your personal experience with us.
lindsay says
xoxoxo love you kara! your mom was truly such a special person… you are right in that her legacy is living on…
Jackie says
This was so beautiful…. I can’t imagine a better way to remember your mom. She must have been so proud of you and I’m sure that she is smiling down on you and your family now.
Betty Palmer says
Kara how wonderful to read your feelings for Suzie. I loved all the things about her, her love for everyone she knew. Above all her love for you and her grandchildren. She was such fun when she was little. As a baby, she liked for me to rub her back when she was put to bed. Some times I had to type your grandfather’s papers so I would slip a text book under my hand and she would sleep with that book on her back—-that’s why she was smart and always wanted to learn more. She was our pleasure — we would just watch her sleep, what a wonder! I have so many memories that will help during this time. She was my best friend and we did so much together. As Kayte wrote— Love never dies!
Jodie says
Beautiful. She did indeed leave a great big HUGE legacy that has shaped who you are and the mom that you are to your littles. How special. I look forward to your post about the Jesus-y things you came up with as well as the post about what are things to say (and not to say!) to someone who has suffered a loss.
Eli's Lids says
Thanks Jodie! It means so much that you said that! Encouraging words are the best.
Lidy says
Kara, what a beautiful tribute to Suzie. I just lost my Mom two weeks ago, and her memorial is this Sunday. I hope I can speak half as eloquently as you did{or at all!}. May the many sweet memories you have of your Mom keep her close to you always. Xoxo Lidy
Crystal Anderson says
Kara, you are so special. Thank you for sharing this. I think we can all learn a great deal from your mom’s beautiful legacy. What a blessing that you got to experience her joy and compassion first hand. I think of you often & pray that your heart is healing.
xoxo
Eli's Lids says
Thanks! I love when other people talk about her legacy. I know she would be so tickled that she motivated anyone to do anything.
Ginger Golembiewski says
I was one of the strays she took in for a while! She was a very special lady and this is a really nice tribute to her. Speaking of small things, I still have the pillow case with my name on it that she made for us for 6th grade camp….and I often tell people about those awesome high school lunches. (She made the most delicious Chinese Chicken Salad ever!) I have many fond memories of her. Prayers for you and your family!
Eli's Lids says
Thanks Ginger!! That means so much. I don’t think she really knew how much she meant to so many different people!
Jen says
Such a beautiful post. I don’t know if you realize, but you do all those “small things” your Mom does. Maybe without noticing. But I notice. I want to be a Mom to my kids like you are, like your Mom was to you. Hugs and prayers.
Eli's Lids says
Thanks Jen!
Amy Hoogstad says
So beautiful, KN – should would’ve been blushing. It is clear she was intensely loved, and what a huge comfort it is that you will see her again!
Amy Hoogstad says
Oops typo – *she would’ve been… Time for bed!
Eli's Lids says
I think she would have gotten a huge kick out of all the people coming out of the woodwork whom she had influenced over the years!
Jill @ Cora Anne Designs says
She sounds incredible! And what a great reminder, that it’s not just the big things that we do that matter, the small things really do add up and can make a huge impact.
Hugs to you, Kara!
xoxo
Eli's Lids says
Thanks Jill! Such a reminder, especially for us moms doing little things ALL DAY LONG!
Jessie says
Wow. Your mom is amazing. Hearing about her makes me want to be a better mom. Especially the listening part.
Thank you so much for sharing about her.
Jessie
PS- I think I may have to do her tooth fairy magic with my girls:)
Eli's Lids says
Her tooth fairy was RAD! Thanks! She really was a motivation in the mom department.
Elizabeth Sunnen says
Kara Noel,
Your words are an incredible tribute to your mother’s legacy. Thank you so much for sharing. 🙂
Eli's Lids says
Thanks for reading 🙂
Melissa says
Absolutely beautiful. What a legacy she leaves with you and your family and all who meet her. There are so many teachable moments we all can apply to our lives.
Eli's Lids says
Thanks Melissa! She would have loved meeting you! No one could find a deal like she could.
Kayte CookWatts says
What a beautiful tribute to your mom. I am so sorry for your huge loss. I believe that she is watching you and will see every special moment in your life. Love never dies!
Eli's Lids says
Thank you. That is so encouraging! I like to think that she is watching us with smile.