Thinking of Things Archives - Small Things Are Big Things

June 26, 2014 by: Kara Noel Lawson

If it’s adding to the noise, turn off this blog

My husband and I given blood every 3-4 months since we got married in 2005… because I think it’s super important… everyone’s civic duty… like jury duty. Except that instead of waiting 8 hours in a room full unhappy people you get to give three people life AND get snacks afterward.
FREE SNACKS!!!
You should schedule an appointment right now.
Go.
OK, now that you’re back, I’ll finish my story.
So I’m the table giving life blood and the nurse keeps looking at me. I’m thinking that I must look shocking without my makeup on or that I have poop smeared on my shirt. She finally asked my parents’ names.
Um?… OK?
I told her and she said, “That’s it!! I recognized you from pictures your mother showed me.”
It turns out this nurse worked at my mom’s general practitioner over 5 years ago at an office that was over 40 miles away.
But she remembered my mom.
And loved her.
It’s crazy to me that I keep meeting people who have somehow been affected by my mom’s life. I have received cards in the mail from people I’ve never met, who feel compelled to tell me what a great person my mom was to them.
But I guess it’s not so crazy when I think about how my mom truly cared about people and lived the kind of life that touched everyone who came in contact with her.
It automatically makes me reflect on my life.
How could it not?
Are my actions, words, and blog posts adding to the noise?
Or are they loving, encouraging, and inspiring my friends AND strangers.
Now, I’m not saying that you have to be perfect, or “on” all the time.
I am saying that if you are genuine, if you love, if you have general goodwill for people, then being impactful will just come naturally.
Make sense?
It made me think of a song called “Adding to the Noise.” The lyrics say, “What’s it gonna take to slow us down to let the silence spin us around?… If we’re adding to the noise turn off this song.”
What does it take for me to slow down?
Silence spin around??
HA!
Often it feels like I can’t just “be” anymore. When we are watching TV and a commercial comes on, I pick up my phone and go on Instagram.
REALLY!?!?
Is it even possible for me to sit and be bored for like 3 minutes?
Apparently not.
But I want that.
I want my mind to be OK if I’m not being entertained.
What is adding to the noise in my life?
It doesn’t have to be something bad like a sin, just things that prevent me from the Small Things that really matter.
So I guess what I’m saying is, if there is “noise” in your life, turn it off.
Even if it’s this blog.

If its adding to the noise, turn off this blog.

April 1, 2014 by: Kara Noel Lawson

The Promised Land {HomeFront for March}

Sometimes I feel ill-equipped as a mother. Although a lot of people call me mother, (between my kids, foreign exchange students and Safe Families Kids), I’ve only been a mother for seven years. And well, we really don’t know how jacked up my children will be yet..

In just seven years, my parenting perspective has changed drastically.

I liken the motherhood journey with the journey of Moses.

Obviously.

We have God’s people – slaves in Egypt. And Moses working persistently to free the Israelites from Pharaoh and toward a goal. Plague after plague came until Pharaoh freed the Israelites. Those messy plagues sure did play a part in the goal. But success didn’t come when the people were freed; success was arrival in the Promised Land. Every one of Moses’ actions and decisions were influenced by his goal of reaching the Promised Land.

Flash forward to September 2006. There I was holding baby Eli in my arms – that ugly 9 pound 4 oz, zombie, troll, cone-head baby. I was a young mother with my first son.

With Eli, things were black and white, I was diligent about course correction and everything was new and wonderful. My goal was to have a beautiful put-together family. I wanted to be the mom with well-behaved kids, and for other people to think I had everything together as a wife and mother.

I wanted to have the answers about parenting style, sleep training, discipline, and the best baby products. But all those things are the plagues. A necessary part of the journey… but just the journey.

Only 5 short years later I was holding my 4^th child in my arms. Tess, all cheeks and snuggles. And we stopped at Souplantation on the way home from the hospital. So much for everything being new the 4^th time around. As much as I would still love to be thought of as the “put-together” family, I’m just happy if all the kids have pants on at the grocery store.

Of course I’ve changed and grown as a person – I’m juggling more responsibilities, I’ve gained more experience, I’m more comfortable in the role of a mother, but most significant, I have different goals.

I have my Promised Land.

I’m less concerned with having a great well-behaved child, and more concerned my children will become great parents someday.

I’m less concerned about people thinking I have all the answers and more concerned my children will make wise choices on their own.

I’m less concerned with having a beautiful family portrait and more concerned with my children being respected by their peers, teachers, and other parents.

I want my children to experience authentic relationship with Jesus. To go through trials. Feel pain and hope. But of course, mostly joy and perfect peace.

I want to use my mistakes to give them “level paths” for their lives (Hebrews 12:13a). And so much more. More, because God’s plan for their lives is far superior to my plan. Everyday I’m choosing my actions and decisions in light of my Promised Land, not the plagues.

It’s my life, and it’s a stunning jumble of trial and error.

Success and failure.

And I’m thankful.

February 7, 2014 by: Kara Noel Lawson

Tea and Glue Sticks

I’m just sitting here hot gluing a project, sipping tea and bawling my eyes out.
After my mom died our friends rallied, and I had meals and visits almost everyday for 2 months. It was the perfect picture of community.
It was tragically beautiful.
Every Christmas my mom would stuff my stocking with my favorite earl grey tea and hot glue sticks (among other things… like dollar store pregnancy tests). My supply would last me until my stocking was stuffed again the following year.
It was one of the many Small Things my mom did, that I miss terribly.
After hearing this, two of my friends (who don’t know each other) gifted me with tea and glue sticks.
What a Small Thing.
A Small Thing that has me weeping like a baby almost a year later.

Sometimes when you do a Small Thing for someone, it’s easy – you’re out shopping, and happen to see something special for a friend, you pick it up, and drop it by their house on the way home from the store. Done.
Sometimes it’s more difficult – you get an idea, and on the way to the store you get lost, while shopping your toddler screams during the whole trip, then he/she falls asleep on the way home which totally ruins the rest of the day. Then you keep forgetting to give the Small Thing to your friend. This ‘thoughtful gift’ ends up becoming a burden. Eventually you get it to her house, and whew… done!

Often I think of things I want to do for other people.
Often schedules and convenience get in the way.

I’m not sure if it was easy or difficult for my friends to get me the tea and glue sticks. But even if getting to the store ruined a routine or ended up being a huge burden, their gifts meant/mean the world to me.

What are some Small Things you can do?
Whatever you are thinking about doing for someone today, might become a sacred memory and have them weeping like a baby next year.

December 14, 2013 by: Kara Noel Lawson

Rethinking my Kids’ Christmas Gifts

Last night I woke up from a dead sleep feeling disgusted… with myself.
Brad and I did our Christmas shopping a few nights prior, and I had been feeling quite smug for finishing so early. It only takes one night, so I shouldn’t be so cocky. We do one gift from Santa (yes, we celebrate with Santa) and three gifts from us.
But we don’t really “need” anything.
We live simple. But not crazy simple (we aren’t that cool), our kids have more than they need and don’t really want a lot. Especially the younger ones with all the hand-me-downs.
We ended up just getting “whatever,” to meet the 4 gift quota.
That’s what got me.
Well two things actually…
1. We spent money that could be used toward people in need… or toward groceries or a new window in our home.
2. We spent money on things knowing that I would probably put them in goodwill within the month.
HOW WASTEFUL.
Disgusting.
Then, yesterday I had taken this picture of Cora Jane wearing an apron my Great Grandmother made me as a child.

The caption read: “I wonder if her great great grandmother ever thought the apron she made, from scraps, would become such a treasure! When we create, ladies, we do it for our great great grandchildren!”
I ended up returning the “whatever” gifts.
And it felt good.
I don’t want my kids to get filler gifts.
I don’t want them to only value expensive things either.
I want them to treasure the things they already have.
I want them to put significance toward things that have significance.
Like the apron.

October 23, 2013 by: Kara Noel Lawson

Anti Social Media Experiment

I love social media.
Social media helps prevent long distances from keeping friends/family apart, introduces people with specific niche interests, who otherwise might feel alone in this world, and spreads awareness about… well… anything!
But is it real?
Are virtual relationships authentic?
I can most definitely argue in favor of authentic relationships in social media – many of my friends are amazing women I have met through social media. We text often and when we see each other, it’s like we haven’t missed a beat because we have “seen” what’s going on in each other’s lives through social media. I also have in-real-life-friends, whom I already see often, and the events we read about and the pictures we see on social media can give more depth to our frequent conversations.
But more and more often, I’m hearing conversations that start with, “Did you see my post…?” Or I’m at the park and I see a mom scrolling on her phone, apart from her children and the other moms.* And it’s common for people to post EVERY PART of their day on social media and EVERY thought they have no matter how vague or mundane. Yes, some of those thoughts are well crafted, clever, funny or impactful but you have to wonder what a person is getting out of posting, “Ugggggg!!!”, and if comments and likes are substituting actual human interaction.
Are Facebook/twitter/instagram interactions enhancing a friendship or replacing genuine relationship with something counterfeit?
Recently our church did a corporate fast of all social media for a week. I was talking with a friend and she told me she struggled specifically on one day because her family went to Disneyland for a special last-day-of-summer hoorah. Her fingers were just itching to post a family picture at the happiest place on earth with a clever caption. She was asking herself why that particular moment was more of a struggle.
I felt the same way that week.
Is it because I feel validated when people like a post?
Yes.
Do I like to share things that make people laugh/smile/think?
Yep.
Do I enjoy the interactions I have in the comments?
Yes-a-roonie.
Before social media, where would I have been validated, received laughs and had interactions?
Well… people… women, would get together. And chat. At someone’s house. Maybe sip a little coffee. Chat about a common interest or current event. Maybe about the barn raisin’ last week while they embroider pillows or bake pie from scratch, after pulling fresh eggs from the chicken coop.
Did I mention that I flash back to pioneer days in all my imaginary scenarios?
(I’m insane.)
Women need interaction.
We crave it.
I believe that’s why Facebook caught like wildfire among women… specifically moms. An exhausted mom of a newborn, feeling alone with her emotions and insecurities in full swing, can post about her nursing struggles at 3 in the morning. Then other moms having the same struggles can relate, encourage, and offer advice. Also, as moms, we experience pretty monumental moments everyday. Firsts in a human’s life are just begging to be shared. And because, lets be real, our kids are above-average adorable. Who wouldn’t want to see this video…

I mean really people!?!?!?!
I think you may have just added a year to your life after viewing that cuteness.
As great as that social media moment was, I believe tweets, status updates, etc. can often be phony interactions, without significance or consequence (good or bad). Blasting out a famous quote or vague personal thought doesn’t facilitate authentic community.
It’s not what we need.
It’s not what we crave.
I think we can do better.
And I’m conducting an Anti Social Media Experiment to see.
But details about that are for tomorrow’s post!

*Random side thought about mom’s who are on their phones the whole time their kids are at the park. Don’t judge them. I’m sure some are stalking celebrities on IG, but I have to think some are work from home moms who are pulling double duty. So they are actually being awesome for getting their kids out while getting work done. (In my humble opinion.)

June 19, 2013 by: Kara Noel Lawson

Only 13 Todays

Today is a big day for Eli.
There will only be 13 todays in his whole life.
Just 13 todays, out of 4,745 days in 13 years
Today is his last day of school.
His very first last day of school.

Parents can get crazy about the last day of school. Make an elaborate breakfast… have a run-through a banner greeting the kids after their walk home… shower them with Summer themed gifts.
And that’s awesome.
Their kids probably love it. And families are creating special memories their children with cherish forever.
We only have 13 last days of school with our children. It’s a big deal.
It’s a big deal, but you don’t need to raid the party store for luau themed decor or have pictures scrapbooked of all the major school events. Unless you love doing that, then do it. Just don’t feel like you have to because your FB Friend so-in-so made a last day of school outfit out of a repurposed dollar store tee shirts, then revealed a summer full of events while eating their child’s favorite home-churned ice cream. Don’t let the joy of these sweet small moments be sucked away because you need to top the year before. Comparing is bad, and you never know what people aren’t sharing in their FB status.
It doesn’t matter what you do. It doesn’t even have to be the same every year. It just has to work with your family.

Small Things are Big Things.
I really believe you can go the extra mile as a parent with very little effort. A perfect example is this St Patrick’s Day: I hadn’t done anything because I was incased in sadness – no green snack or leprechaun tracks or handmade traps. Eli came up to me while I was making lunch and said, “I guess the leprechauns forgot us this St Patrick’s Day.” Instead of feeling like a failure as a mom or smug that we are above celebrating frivolous holidays.
You know what I did?
I’ll tell you (it is my blog).
I got the green food coloring out of the cabinet and put a drop in each of their cups. When they got their water, it was green. Minds blown. Then while they were eating I moseyed into each of the bathrooms a put a few drops of food coloring into the toilet water. When the kids went into the bathrooms they were giddy that the leprechauns made the water green. Then I text Brad to pick up some Lucky Charms on the way home from work. The next morning those “pesky leprechauns” had switched out the Cheerios for Lucky Charms.
Then the kids started looking around the house, “Mom, I don’t think that pillow was green before.” Me either, honey. “Mommy, that picture didn’t have any green in it yesterday, I’m sure of it!” Those leprechauns did it again. We ended up searching the whole house and deliberating over everything green. It was fun. Really fun.
Did green food coloring and a box of Lucky Charms take much effort at all?
NO!
It was nothing.
And it was fun.

This is it folks. Time is a beast and we only have 13 last days of school.
And maybe not even that.
Do something.
Eat dessert first. Share your favorite school memory during dinner. Go out to dinner. Have a movie night. Roast marshmallows. Get icees. Play video games till 10pm. Let them pick whatever they want at the dollar store. Bake cookies or brownies or cake. Ask questions and just listen to the human you created tell you what’s on their mind, even if the only thing on their mind is inviting a friend over. Then invite the friend over. Celebrate.
Your kids don’t care. They just want to feel valued.
Don’t we all?

One of my friends on instagram makes homemade strawberry jam with her kids every year. How fun is that? It’s their “thing” now, but it may not always be their thing. Maybe when her kids are teens, they will think it’s lame. But then those teens will grow up, and have last-day-of-school-jam-sessions (see what I did there?) with their kids because they will look back at their childhood with their adult lenses and think, “that was a really special time, I even remember thinking how lame it was as a teen, but I really did have fun and it helped me know how much I was loved by my mom.”
Memories made. Lives impacted.
All part of the job.

What are you doing Kara Noel? (you’re thinking)
Well, we are having a backyard picnic after school. Our same PB & J’s, with a side of fruit and Pirate Booty. Except we’ll be on a blanket. Outside. We’ll talk and I’ll probably pull down the leftover Valentine’s Day candy from the bowl on top of the fridge.
Does having the same exact lunch as always outside on a blanket require much effort?
NO!
It’s nothing.
And it will be fun!

March 14, 2013 by: Kara Noel Lawson

Cussing at the Kids

I can’t cuss.

Like for real-sies.

I tried in college, and sounded like an idiot.

I really can’t stand cursing in general. Most of the time it just makes people seem uneducated or like they are trying too hard. BUT I can appreciate a well placed cuss word. Like at the end of Harry Potter when Mrs. Weasley tells the evil Bellatrix Lestrange what’s up in that last battle scene. Or in every action movie when the “good guy” is filled with righteous anger over some incredible injustice. But dropping the F-bomb in place of the word “very” is ridiculous.

Which is why it crazy that I’m cussing at the kids a minimum of 50 times a day.

In my head.

But it’s still really strange, and I’ve been mentally noting the recent influx. Are you wondering what this wild silent word is? It’s always the same, and said (in my head) with passion.

It’s…

Effin’

Not the actual F-word, but “effin.”

And it’s used for the most trivial things:

“Oh wow, the the effin’ remote control is in the bathroom.”

“The empty effin’ Pirate Booty bag is on the floor again!”

And more than once in a rant:

“Put the effin’ toothpaste tube back in the effin’ drawer and click the effin’ lid back on!”

It really makes no sense.

Pent up aggression at my children?

I don’t think so. I don’t feel angry at them at all. Flustered – for sure! But not in a mean way.

Go figure!

For now, I’ll live by these words of wisdom…

December 6, 2012 by: Kara Noel Lawson

Showing Sacrifice

Over the Summer, we were in the car and Eli was having an award winning fit because Cora Jane wouldn’t let him hold her glow stick.

He shrieked, ”This is the worst day of my whole life!”

Really? The day your sister doesn’t share a dollar store glow stick is the worst day of your life. First world problem.

So in a “shining” parenting moment I said, “REALLY!?!?!?!?!????? The day your little sister doesn’t share a 10 cent glow stick is the WORST day of your LIFE!!?!?! Did you know some kids don’t have toys to play with, or a place to sleep, or a mommy and daddy to take care of them… just like little Henry who we have been praying for!!!!!”

Eli – “I thought Henry had parents who are trying to bring him home?” (UPDATE: Henry is home. Post coming!)

Me – “Yes, that’s true… but that’s not the point, the point is… (deep breath and in a calmer voice) today is not the worst day of your life. When someone doesn’t share with you, it’s not the worst day of your life. In our family, we don’t let tiny problems control our attitude or behavior.”

Eli – “Well, it’s a big deal to me.”

We talked more that day, but as the months have passed I’ve often thought of this conversation. I’ve brainstormed how I will teach my children to identify the difference between little life problems, and real world problems. Such as global hunger, sex trafficking and corrupt governments. How do I tell my child their problems aren’t “real?” Especially when it really isn’t age appropriate to be talking about child prostitutes.

I want my children to have perspective about their difficulties in relation to the community around us, our nation and the globe. And I truly think children are smart enough to start learning early about many of the real world issues. I feel like the best way to teach our children anything is to show them. Show them to be passionately angry about kids starving, not dollar store glow sticks. Ultimately, resulting in their own desire to create a positive impact.

Now, we are in the midst of the season of excess. Kids around the world are hoping for a bit of Hollywood Holiday Magic to get the “perfect” gift under their tree, families are in a rush to send out their clever holiday cards and solidify plans with extended family. It’s oh-so-easy for me to get caught up in a matching pajama frenzy. I love it. But I’m choosing to give up things to show my kids how to serve others.

I know it’s silly, but it’s a sacrifice for me to give up the magical Christmas extras. I’m not being a martyr. I’m being selfish, and I hope my kids see that unbecoming quality in me. Then I hope they see me fighting against my selfish nature and being content. Not just content, brimming with joy. The feeling you get when you realize you made a difference but also recognizing you are a small part of something bigger. Instead of buying a live Christmas tree we are putting up our broke-a&$ fake one and buying two goats. Instead of prepping a full spread for Christmas party guests we’ll be doing a potluck and asking for donations to the chicken fund. We are baking cookies for neighbors, babysitting at the local ESL class, volunteering at a Christmas store for locals in need, Meals On Wheels gifts, letters to soldiers overseas… Oh how we are going to give till it hurts.

My children will learn that giving is addicting.

And maybe they will learn to share a freaking glow stick.

November 15, 2012 by: Kara Noel Lawson

Clean Slate

I’m in a mood. A bit melancholy, a bit unmotivated and in need of a change. Under it all is the desire for a clean slate. A Fresh start. I’m looking forward to making the final separation between personal blog and business blog (I sure do love you guys!). I want to get rid of all my clothes and start from scratch. Redefine my style and only own clothes that fit. I want the rooms in my home to be organized and void of useless clutter. But still homey. I would LOVE to chuck all my kiddos’ toys and just save the few most played with items. Which is a total sham, because Christmas is almost here and our children will be spoiled with countless more gifts. This bothers me as well. We have too much.

I want to simplify.

There is a book out right now called 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess. The book reviews are off the charts, and maybe one day I’ll read it’s pages. I can guess the conclusion. The author’s family dramatically simplified, had a rough time, but it was a mostly good wake up call, and they are changed. I think we already know we don’t need everything we have. And things we think we need, we would be fine without.

As I enter this season of excess. My focus is to be present, to simplify and to give.

What’s yours?